Ever since I moved to this country, I have been struggling to find my niche. It has finally come to the point where my depression has caused my to fail a test and thus, i have to resit the test in may or june so I can pass my developmental anatomy module. Up to this point I have passed every assignment, even if just by the skin of my teeth. And I was happy with my mediocre performance because I thought that if i was passing, as the course description outlines, than I was doing my job and was thus qualified to stay on this course.
I have never been Miss A+ and my grades have always been fairly mediocre in comparison to the work I am most certainly capable of doing. My professor, a woman I know barely at all, a woman I see a couple times a week since September, actually noticed. She asked me if I needed help because although I am “very intelligent, I am not demonstrating this well at present” and she is concerned for me in terms of actually obtaining my degree because I have not handed in a piece of work in all of these 5 months that is “up to par with a Master’s level education”
HELLO WAKE UP CALL. I need some serious motivation or some kind of confidence boost/intervention from someone….(it can’t be my mom- she loves me too much and i end up yelling at her.) It can’t be my cohorts in the course, the 5-6 of them that are succeeding with flying colors make me feel dumb and unworthy of the course and 2-3 of those succeeding people actually annoy me to the point of nearly wanting to commit suicide. The other few who are flailing are also not my favorite people.
This is so dumb.